We're thinking about doing a blooper show
at some point down the line.
Oh, are we on?
Hey, welcome, welcome,
welcome to another edition of What's Good
with Jon and Joyce. Joyce,
good to see you again.
As always.
You as well. You as well.
And we have, with us
today, a really special guest,
a gentleman
I had a chance to meet back in 2013.
He came up to me and asked, would you like
to host an event called Woodstock?
And so what he say
is kind of like a Woodstock for animals.
He had me it animals,
anything to do with helping the animals.
And I couldn't help but like, this guy
has got such a likable way about him.
He always has that infectious smile.
He has a kind word for everybody,
which we're going to get into this
campaign called Please Be Kind,
but I don't want to get too far
ahead of myself.
But, one of the kindest individuals
I've ever met, Joyce,
and he really kind of embodies
what we're all about with the show.
What's good with John and Joyce?
I'd like to introduce, Ken Engelman.
Ken, welcome to What's Good.
You so thank you so much
for coming on our show,
because I saw your sign,
you know, way back.
And I thought your is up there.
This is what we need.
That is in here, in the park
here he is in the flesh.
Tell us what made you start putting
signs up and how many have you put up?
Well, first, thank you for having me.
I'm honored to be here. I'm proud
of this.
I love your show healthy, and I see
so many people benefiting from your show.
So I expect it to continue
to grow and prosper and thrive.
Well, of course, with you on here, it's
going to blow right up.
I mean, come on, Ken.
Yes.
So how it all started was,
to please be kind signs.
We live in an interesting times.
And when I first started to be kind
program, I had noticed
that a lot of people were becoming
frustrated with each other very quickly,
and there were less
communication and more,
pushing thoughts on others.
And I work in media,
and I noticed that a lot of major
media were promoting clickbait
type of stuff. Yes.
And they weren't really deep.
They weren't they didn't include a lot of
substance, and not a lot of people were
learning the details of the stories
that were being promoted.
So angst, I experienced angst,
I felt angst,
and I wanted to be a part
of bringing people together and inspiring
kindness
and inspiring community and kindness.
Obviously, I didn't create the word
kindness or be kind or please be kind.
It kind of came
together through an advertising campaign
because it is a public service
announcement campaign.
And so when I started to sculpt it,
I wanted to originally have the words,
if you have the chance
to make someone smile, do it.
The world needs more of that.
It was a meme that I happened to see
on social media, and it connected with me,
and I then wanted to write that out
on a repurposed political lawn sign
like the one behind me.
Yeah, I think it's fine.
And you were too many words.
So a friend of mine said, just be kind.
And I said three words.
That's perfect in media.
It grabs attention, and then
I just change it up to please be kind.
But I added the exclamation point
just to be a little bit more
assertive to the please be kind
and please has kind of a softer,
less demanding tone to it.
Correct? It definitely does.
And it's something that resonated
with a lot of people.
And I started to I had this created
by a friend of mine who works at Home
Depot in East Haven, and she's a crafter,
and she just drew out the letters,
cut it out for me.
And this is the original stencil
that I used
over 700 times to create over 700.
Wow. And placed them around,
80 plus towns around Connecticut in 2024.
So this is you, December.
This is really, really just,
you know, rocketed as it and from just
a shoreline area now to statewide
and regional and hopefully national.
We had it in front of Russell,
you know, in Short Beach.
Branford, Joe and Lisa were like,
absolutely.
Please put it up in front on Short
Beach Road.
And then another neighbor said, hey,
where'd you get can I get one?
And they contacted me
and then I made five.
I put one in front of Starbucks
over by that.
Just a Walmart.
Absolutely.
Put it out front.
And then it just snowballed from there.
People wanted to sign.
And so I said,
you know what? I'm onto something here.
Let me continue
because of the positive response. Yes.
And as a volunteer, as a community
caring person,
I like to inspire others to be inspired.
Like I was like when I met you, John, and
when I met Eunice Masala from Branford.
And there's other kind community,
caring people that inspired me.
So I'm just passing it along.
I'm just sharing what I've learned,
and I'm inspiring others to do the same
because I believe in a ripple effect.
Yes, and I've heard such positive
responses from educators,
health care professionals,
police, fire officials, community leaders,
all different types of
people telling me
that this message is simple,
yeah, has resonated in a way
that makes them feel not alone.
If they're going through difficult times
that other people might not know about,
or if they're depressed or not
feeling themselves,
they connect to kindness. Yes.
As opposed to connecting to the opposite.
Yeah.
And the opposite can make
some people feel alone.
And so this is bringing people together
and bridging,
two different places
and bringing them together, uniting
people based on kindness,
which we all learn from a young age.
Be kind and canny.
We all know. And, Joyce,
we talked about this before.
You're a therapist.
You work with a lot of clients.
Loneliness.
I mean, loneliness is epidemic nowadays.
I have to say,
when I first saw your sign, Ken,
I will never forget that moment
because I became very emotional.
And I think that's what I felt like
I wasn't alone.
Yeah.
Trying to get that message out.
Let people just be kind.
And that sign made me feel like,
this is going
to be, you know, something that read and,
and and I took my grandson for a haircut
and the chain of supercuts.
They have it inside, you know,
inside their little waiting area.
It's the sign.
And it's so, it's so powerful.
But another thing I want to say to you
is being kind
is courageous.
It's very it's not.
I don't want people to think I hate this
because they politicize the word
that, oh, just be kind.
Just because I know
it takes courage to be kind.
Because at least listening, going back
to what you spoke about the community,
when people would meet as a community
and have conversations,
that's what brings peace.
You're listening.
You're talking.
You're not just trying
to get your point across.
And I think that's what you're talking
about by bringing a community together.
Yes, exactly. Yes.
It's is important to for all.
And it helps improve the health
and well-being of communities.
But it's communication.
It's talking things through
and not just pushing opinions.
And this message I've learned
from people reaching out to me,
thanking me for doing it.
But there's nothing to thank me for.
It's just,
a vehicle for sharing a message
utilizing different media
that I understand how it works because
I've worked in advertising marketing
throughout my whole career.
So I'm just using tools that already exist
to spread the message.
Yeah, and the message is to please be kind
or be kind, which another group uses.
It doesn't matter
as long kindness and kind is a part of it.
We can all promote kindness
and be happier individuals,
happier workplaces, happier families.
Right? So we're communication.
How many times with people
going down the street and saw the sign
and they were thinking
about giving that signal to somebody
in the car, and maybe that was a reminder,
please be kind.
Right.
Because and you see and you see those
subtle, subtle reminders everywhere.
I mean, I'm out in the middle of
Connecticut, like Woodstock, Connecticut,
and I see a sign there on a side road.
It's like, wow,
this thing really is getting out there.
And and it's a universal reminder.
Like you said, Joyce,
it does take courage
because we have to get away from ourselves
and put our own feelings aside
and realize it's not just about us, it's
about the whole community
that we talk about all the time.
We can be a good human being, good human.
It's not hard. No, no.
And this is what one doctor,
Wayne Dyer, said this.
I don't know if it's the origin
of this, but he would say it
when you have the choice to be
oh so right.
So kind.
Always choose kind. Yeah.
And I remember that when we.
I said nope
nope this is not the time to tell you
why I'm right.
Like look at this.
It's a time to listen
and it's time to show kindness.
And then it's like throwing
a bucket of water on a hot fire, right?
When you're kind to someone
because you're not stirring the pot.
And sometimes you're better off
just today, let let them be right now.
I'm going to be happy.
Let them be right.
I'm going to be happy.
But you know,
when somebody has an opposing view.
I've learned over the years,
I just practice the pause and I
listen to what they have to say,
and I'm going to be respectful.
I'm not going to try to get my,
you know, ideology or whatever, I think.
But I'm going to listen
to what you have to say.
And I could be persuaded,
you know,
I'm not so, like rock solid about things.
I have my principles. We all do.
But I can't be persuaded
and I'll listen to you.
But if anything, just be respectful,
you know?
You know, you're right about the word
respectful, right?
They go there. Do they do.
So can you trademark this?
You know, people have asked me that
and I'm sure I could, but I don't want to,
just like all the other volunteer
initiatives that I implement
and I offer to nonprofits,
I think it should be free for everybody.
And I don't want to own something
that should be beneficial for everybody.
And so anyone can create their own signs.
People can use these words
or other words like it.
And, riding my motorcycle
around the state, I've seen,
whether
it's a coincidence or not,
I've seen other signs that are similar pop
up with their own messages,
and I think it's fantastic.
That's great.
So I don't want to
I think it should be free for everybody.
Yeah, because it's not about me and
I should not profit or benefit from this.
It's just, sharing a message.
Well, I was just wondering if,
if you did have a trademark on it, and
then you can go to other states with it
and, and do campaign
that way I can
and that's I'm glad you brought that up.
So after Guilford High School commencement
speech last year,
the superintendent had mentioned, please
be kind in his commencement speech.
I didn't know about it.
I wasn't there in
the audience was a couple from Texas,
and they heard it on their way
back to the airport.
They saw my signs, and he saw the digital
billboard that I had up on 95 East even.
And all the way back they had talked
about this Please Be Kind campaign.
They googled me, they found me.
He called me up.
He said, wow, that's great.
I want to do this program down here.
Can I pay you?
I said, no, I have to send you a stencil.
So the marker, the paint and.
Yeah, exactly how I did.
Please go help yourself.
And so, just north of Dallas,
he implemented
a campaign with his children
down there to spread the word down there.
I have signs in many different states.
I had a friend who I met in Gilford
bring one over to Portugal.
Wow. Did it and held it up.
There's that sign in Lisbon.
Wow. That's fabulous.
It's really exciting.
Yes, but it resonates on
such a simple level
that we all share,
which comes from our community, right?
It transcends communities and languages,
much like music in so many ways to.
Yeah.
To show you that the innate part of us
is so good. Yes.
I think we're all too tired of the angry.
Tired of that might be simply clickbait.
Right.
And it's it's just people.
Yeah. Who's out there anyway.
So I don't want to waste my time
being angry with people or having grudges
or things of that nature.
I just want to let that go.
It eats away.
You just better to forgive that person.
If anything, you know
it eases on you because so many times you
you have a grudge against somebody else.
They're not even thinking about you,
or they've already forgotten about you
and you're letting them rent real estate
in your head like we talked about before.
So you just take the high road, be kind,
see people smile.
Everything is going to work out
just the way it should.
Absolutely. You're absolutely right.
And we've had this conversation.
Yes, we have and in a way,
this campaign has been therapy for me
to change my mindset away
from what I might get caught up in, right.
Or allow someone or situation
to have real estate in my head.
So I would then take that energy
and repurpose it, and I would then
create these signs or create other types
of communication signs with the message,
and go out into the world and share it.
And so it helped me.
And then I learned
it was helping other people.
So it's all positive
going in the right direction.
And he push back on this at all.
You told me a story once
about a person on the steps in the capital
New in New Haven or something,
and I found that really interesting.
I mean,
I know how anybody can oppose this,
but there's always somebody in the crowd.
There's always someone,
luckily, is not very, Yeah.
The first person was, it was interesting.
We were doing an interview with,
one of the local news stations, and,
they saw somebody walking by.
Now, excuse me, sir,
what do you think about this?
Please be kind. Well,
I don't have time for that.
I just
wish, I wish yeah, yeah, yeah.
Photographer and camera.
Right now.
But that was one of two.
The only other was,
there was a person in our community
that spray painted my signs on the color
black and had a different message spray
painted over my please be kind message.
And that turned out
to be a little bit of thing, but that.
But everyone else
has completely embraced it.
And this program was from January of 2024
to December 24th.
And now I'm working with national trade
publication
for pizza restaurants and pizza industry.
And I'm speaking with the editor
about inspiring pizza boxes to have.
Please be kind written on the,
because the numbers are staggering for
the amount of people who purchase pizza.
Sure. Yeah. Pick it up, bring it home.
And if we could have.
Please be kind on the pizza box.
Is that message again and again and again
for millions upon millions of people,
it's going to have a ripple
effect and it's going to start to
and it seeps in.
And it's a reminder
to be nice to that person.
If they're a few minutes late
with that pizza
when they're going at your door, please
be kind. Right?
I me think about that.
You know,
there's also another message for that.
Whether it's the delivery person,
it could be a little bit late.
Or I remember seeing at the beginning
of this campaign, in a pharmacy
here in town at the pharmacy counter,
there was a sign,
please be respectful to our staff.
And I was like, seriously? Right.
It needs to be. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right.
And so this was a while ago
at the beginning of the campaign, but
people wanted this.
And so businesses, parents, it's
a teaching moment with with students
and with children.
What's with the signs.
Why they're please behind signs let alone
that repurposing on the political lawn.
Were designed for long.
Yeah. Yeah.
After their their campaigns
instead of throwing them out in the dump
I asked if they could donate it
to my nonprofit.
And so I had a stack.
That's awesome.
And I saw it working in advertising
and media.
There are many billboards.
Let's repurpose them,
keep them from the trash and the town dump
and turn them into kind of science.
Yeah, and I think you see them a lot more.
Are you driving the side roads
then a billboard which is on the highway?
Yes. The billboard was beautiful,
by the way.
It really was. Yeah.
But this when you're driving
by, you're at a stoplight.
Yeah. And it's looking right at you.
Yeah. Powerful.
It really is one of the really fun parts
about the evolving of this
campaign was with our town of Branford.
The high school sports colors is red.
So the very first signs that I had
that were donated
by a friend of mine, Ray, were red.
And so I had the white letters
over the red backdrop.
But with Guilford High School
sports colors being green, I wanted to
change them to green with white letters
to personalize it to that community.
Customize? Sure that to each community.
So Branford was red, Guilford was green,
North Branford was purple.
So I spray painted purple white letters.
North Branford and a friends of mine
up there volunteered to help me
spread the message with Mike, Frieda, and,
residents of North Branford.
And that's a maroon, a darker red.
So then each town had their own
colored signs
which brought people
within their own community.
It was a microcosm of the
whole national deal or the regional deal
that you're doing right there.
I love it,
it's all spread out in your garage,
in your backyard, and you're spraying.
What do you what are you doing?
It's a great question. My front lawn,
my front lawn is so colorful.
Yeah, we had a lot of fun with that.
In the garage,
there's too much spray paint.
The smell of spray paint.
Yeah. So outside was better.
And, I went through
so many cans of spray paint.
And, Home Depot was very kind
and very gracious and helped me out
with, making some donations
to this nonprofit initiative.
Yeah.
So appreciative of them and everyone else
that stepped up to help out or said, yes,
you know what?
You can put this sign on my front lawn
or the business owner saying,
yes, you can put it in my window. I have
with over 700 signs, maybe
five people would say had said no,
really, or two examples that we shared.
The other three would be just,
I don't want to be involved
with anything that could be considered
political.
Please be kind.
Being considered political,
that's a head scratcher.
Okay.
I will respect where they're coming from.
Yeah, yeah.
You're listening to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
I didn't charge anybody anything,
and it was just
my enjoyment,
of giving back and seeing,
I have had veterans.
Yes. Elderly people think
there's a person and stop and shop
that once tapped me on the shoulder.
And I was waiting to speak
with the general manager, who's wonderful.
She actually allowed me
to put one of these in the cash
register conveyor belt between.
Wow, that's huge.
To remind me. Yes.
So is this new you?
I've had this, for about six months now.
Can I offer to any business
that has a conveyor belt that wants to.
Yeah. Remind people what it is.
And, gentlemen,
are you the
gentleman is the, elderly man
that's doing this size.
And I said, yes.
And he said, on the way here,
I was cut off, and boy, was I angry.
But I saw your sign and it reset me.
Yes, I, I had the choose. Yes.
That's what I almost had.
Tears in my eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
So when you're having a really tough day,
a frustrating day,
you remember those comments and
it makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it?
Yes, it sure does.
Again,
just this past weekend down in Estonia,
a friend of mine was playing
acoustic guitar out in a place,
one of the restaurants,
and I'm on the patio
and I'm at a table of four chairs,
and I'm by myself
just watching my friend play,
and it's starting to get crowded.
And, two ladies came in
and he couldn't find a place to sit.
So they speaking with the manager.
So I'm like, you know, if you want,
you can sit over here.
I'm just by myself.
And he said, at first
and then they're like, really?
We can sit with you.
Absolutely. We're just enjoying the music.
Yeah. You like that?
So kind of you, yeah.
Right. Right, right.
And they wanted to keep talking like, oh,
the world needs more people like you.
And it's not me.
It's about just people being right.
It's not about me.
And I was.
We got into this nice conversation.
They sat down, so they said,
have you ever seen these?
Please be kind sides.
And just the warmth that I felt knowing.
And I'm like, well, actually,
you might not just shake their hand.
Right, right.
Yeah. These signs all over. Wow.
Well that's great. I'm happy
that they're still up.
And the smiles that they had
and the positive
communal conversation
about kindness, community.
Yeah. Unity continued.
And so that happens quite often.
I'm proud to say from,
all the work that went into this program.
Wow. Just a little, little,
you know, meeting with those two ladies
and just what has spawned.
And you happened to be like,
the impetus for this whole campaign. Wow.
I didn't come up with.
No, but you came up with the campaign
itself, right.
And I'm just utilizing different,
communication
platforms, cash register.
And I couldn't be in a better place
than in the cash register.
Or the people could be rude.
The cashiers every now and then,
or maybe more than every now and then.
Yeah, exactly. Yes.
Which can make them angry right now.
Pizza boxes hopefully will be open.
I love the idea of the pizza boxes out of
people for the least investment possible.
Could be these pizza boxes. Yeah.
Are of the trade publication
for pizza restaurant owners.
He's engaged and this is real time.
So this morning I sent him another email
and he's like, I like it.
Let's just figure this out.
To launch it and inspire the pizza box
companies, those that do the printing
to include the message on box.
But it is
I mean it's a great message
but it's also kind of self-serving
for them to it help because you're asking
please be kind to our people
to our employees or team.
I know, your heart.
Thank you for saying that.
It's natural for me.
And, it's a little bit
awkward to be the person
that's implementing a lot of this.
One person has said
that I'm in it for myself,
and then I'll go on media
because I'm trying to promote myself,
and I'd rather hide behind the scenes
and not be seen, not be heard,
and just be sort of a producer of
these programs because more of a creator
in my strategic marketing career
and I help my clients create,
advertising campaigns,
marketing community, engaging campaigns.
So basically what I'm doing,
which I learn from you, listen to you,
John, long time
ago, is to use my skills and abilities
to help my neighbors.
As a local nonprofit,
started with the animal
shelter, turned into senior center.
We had our, you know, our Stony Creek,
duck race.
Yeah. Oh, that was a blast.
Yeah.
We had parking Lou out there when you go,
carnival to Pine Orchard Yacht Club.
So there's many different events
that stem from the same theme.
And that's just me donating my skills
and abilities for my career
that I give my clients to local
nonprofits, to my neighbors in need.
It's as simple as that.
And then in 2020, we created,
we were together having coffee
and you might you, myself and Judy,
we would receive
Beacon Awards in the past.
So I said,
look at us three Beacon ears and and go,
this is what we do, baby.
There's something there.
Yeah, yeah.
Volunteer. It's what we do.
Was born that advertising campaign
just from a cup of coffee over it.
Or, you know, local coffee. Coffee place.
Yeah.
And then
in 2020, I then created a Facebook group,
and we have over 900 members
in this Facebook group called Community
Volunteers United.
Hashtag Volunteers what we do.
And then I started, 500 501
C3 nonprofit in 2022,
which then became more of a mission
with an actual mission statement
to improve the health and well-being
of communities from coast to coast.
Yeah, inspiring young people
to be matched
with local nonprofits
for a mutual benefit.
And, sadly, a friend of ours
who sadly passed away last year,
her and I sculpted a concept that I had,
and we presented it to Branford
High School principal, and he invited us
into the library in April 2024
to implement this pilot program
that matched students who need community
service hours to graduate
with all the local town nonprofits
to find out the interests of the students,
matched them
with the local nonprofit services
for mutual benefit,
and introduced them to each other.
But it also taught compassion into our
community, thinking in the students.
And it taught students that they don't
have to volunteer with a nonprofit.
You might not have interest
in that service.
There's over 3040
different nonprofits in Branford. And,
yeah, because
they can't afford to advertise, right,
or promote themselves.
So this gives them a voice
to the students, which is our future
adults and business leaders,
and it gives a volunteer assistance to the
local nonprofits for mutual benefit.
Right.
And it was, it was an easy concept
to come up with, but everyone embraced it.
The school embraced it,
the town of Branford embraced it.
And now I'm happy to say the town of
Branford has a Branford volunteers.org,
which is a website
which is just like the Facebook group
that I have that has volunteers.
Speaking about that, let me say,
because people are listening
from all over the world, listening
and watching
you get in touch with you to find out.
How can I get
started with something like this?
What is the best way
to go to your website?
Yes, which is so exciting.
Which
is more than welcome to reach out to me.
My name is Ken Engelman,
and you can find me on Facebook.
We have our website.
Our URL is Dot Community
Volunteers united.org.
And we'll put that under.
Yeah. This,
and we'll get like a like
well we'll do our crawl.
Yeah Stephanie
and Dave will take care of that, you know.
Right Stephanie up there.
Yeah okay okay.
Yeah. Please.
Anyone is welcome to reach out to me.
If you have a nonprofit or if you have a,
if you want to help your neighbors.
I have endless ideas through my strategic
marketing mindset
that can help many different groups
in their own communities,
because a lot of these are like templates.
Yes, and replicated by different groups
of people anywhere in the world.
You can play right
in, you can plug right into a system.
I love it.
I think you tell people,
one small end of this, which a big site
that is that you can take these signs
during, elections
and after the election,
you can go to them and say, hey,
Ken, is it
okay if I take these signs off your hands?
Yes, it spray it input. Okay.
Yes, yes.
And that's easy
because people in every single town,
they have those signs
and every single town could donate them.
Exactly.
Instead of going to the transfer station
or to the town.
Yeah. The garbage recycle them right
turn kind of signs.
Ken, it's been an absolute joy
to have you on here, and I'm so glad
that you decided to come to the forefront
because you like I said, I'm
a behind the scenes type guy.
Your passion needs to be seen.
It's infectious.
You, the way you explain it, the way you
communicate, the way you present yourself.
It's an honor and privilege
to call you a friend.
An honor and privilege to have you here
on what's good with John and Joyce.
And we wish you continued success.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you so, so much.
And so thank you so much for listening
and watching and or both.
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Till next time, bless you and your family
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You know.
