What's Good with John & Joyce: EP 15 - It's ALL a Mindset!
#15

What's Good with John & Joyce: EP 15 - It's ALL a Mindset!

I better get a little drink
of something here before we start here.

And this is not alcohol so you know.

What's good.

What's good.

Yeah I love
I love that gift you got from your friend.

Yeah I got this from my friend
Kathy with a Syrah K

with a cause that makes a difference.

Wow. Okay.

My name on it. Yeah.

And then on the back, it's you.

You are strong.

You are brave.

You are capable.

You are worthy.

You were beautiful.
You are amazing. You are loved.

Something we should be saying
to ourselves every day.

Every day, every day.

It's not arrogant.

It's not egotistical, you know?

It's just, you know,

it's like a song. Every.

Everything is beautiful
in its own way. Ray Stevens.

Oh, my

gosh, you just put these names
because I'm thinking.

Yeah.

What's up?

Lionel Richie? Well,
I love Lionel Richie.

Yeah. Yeah. Ray Stevens.

So you did all those novelty songs
back in the days, right?

Like.

And again,

if you're under 50 years old right now
and you're thinking, rays genius.

Look. Look it up, look it up.

Well, yeah, well,
you just turned 32, right?

That's right.

But. So. Yeah.

So something like this.

I really I really appreciate it.

It's just a great gesture. It it is.

I mean, and also what I appreciate is

I'm very lactose intolerant.

So I've been sneaking in some things
that I shouldn't,

but I do love this plant based,

not substitute.

I guess,

in my cereal called ripple.

Ripple like a ripple effect.

It's really. Yeah. Right, right.

Was there like,

beverage?

I'm not sure.

Like what?

Ripple.

Sounds like it'd be a great name
for, like, a goldfish or something.

Hey, ripple,

I just discovered
today is not like this in my class.

No, no you don't.

Yeah.

I don't have to get that.

But that's.

Yeah. And it's very happy to have that.

Everyone's got these travel mugs
and it's a really pretty,

travel mug.

And I never used to. Wow.

I just never did after all these years.

Now you're using a travel mug.

My wife, my wife, Patty, uses them
every now and then.

The only thing she doesn't

let me take them out of the house
because I lose them.

Where do you.

It's, I mean, I'll bring it
to the radio station.

I bring it to the gym,
and you know me, I'm a squirrel.

I get distracted really easy.

I'll put something down.

I go through so many sunglasses. That's.

That's why I only spend, like,
5 or 10 bucks in sunglasses.

They're probably not doing their part
and helping me with the UV rays

and all that,
but I lose them all the time.

You know, I always break my sunglasses.

You know what I'm saying? No.

You sit on sometimes, sit on the.

Whatever.

But then when I got a prescription.

And with the frames

and it came to 6600.

You know what's funny about that.

Years not broken anything.

I don't.

And what changed.

It was the value.

You know think about that I mean water
tap water doesn't cost you anything.

And then you might go

get a bottle of water for a dollar,
but then you go to a Yankee game

and it cost a 30 bucks
for for a bottle of water.

The water's still the same.

But what changed?

Yeah, right. Right.

That's a really good point
of what you're saying before.

Yeah.

You you are.

You're, Here's my big word for the day.

A salient point.

Yeah. You're.

Yeah, yeah. Well,
I have a book in the radio station.

It's called Big Words,
and I use one big word per show.

That's my quota. That's it.

This morning on the radio,
I used to, axiomatic.

What?

Some certain things are axiomatic in life.

Like it's a given,

like choice.

You're like, you're the the
the axiomatic author.

I want people to start

speaking like that again.

Language is getting lost and reduced and.

All right,

whatever.

I hell, I didn't

even let my grandson walks in my room
and he says, yeah, I like I am.

Yeah.

And that was like a year ago.

And I was like, okay, so what are you.

Yeah, yeah.

Real in real life and real life.

Can't you just say in real life.

Right, right.

Or they'll say idk
what sort of I don't know I'd k right.

Okay.

So yes I found that when you use big words

and I only kind of couple of them and

it had to do with an attorney
that I was speaking.

Oh Joyce, that is so superfluous.

See like, you know,

Like like what?

I can't even think of it now, but it's,

self-governing, word self-governing.

There's one,

autonomous.

Yes, yes.

So I was explaining that my job

makes me more autonomous
to do certain things,

and I found certain
things just unconscionable.

And I used another word and I found that
there were like three words.

If I use in a meeting,
then I actually got more respect.

Right?

Looking at me differently,
I want them at that.

Well,
you're like the quintessential linguist.

How's that?

And this is all impromptu, folks.

This is impromptu.

Wow. People are going to think
we're smart, but you know,

exact other people know better.

Actually, I made it up.

I mean, I was kind of.

I was kind of goofing around with that,

but you could probably get a lot of that
then.

Like the thesaurus.

Learn that big word to day,
I think, is I spent a lot of time,

I spent a lot of time
listening to podcasts.

And I and also, you know, verbal and,
you know, and just,

maybe the word of the day type thing,

and then I'll ask Siri,
what does that mean?

Siri knows everything.

So who is that mean?

What's the difference between leaving
bread and unleavened bread?

You know, when you're reading the Bible
and all that, it's the the yeast.

You know, because you're you're a baker?

Yeah.

I think readers in general have,

a leaders, our readers.

I learned the best leaders on
the planet are readers.

They read

and I think, you know,
and you're in a position

in some of my America
where we're leading people.

And how can we pour in the people and lead
if we don't read em?

You know,
and I think we owe it to other people

to to be the best version of ourselves.

You don't know. Yeah.

Check it for us.

I'm Alexa, Alexa or Siri?

She loves you.

Siri loves me.

I have, I have three of them.

The one that's in my bedroom must be best.

So when I thanked her

other day,
sometimes she'll say you're so welcome.

But you know what? Here was a pause.

And then she's saying to me, she's
saying a little thank you song to me.

I was love you.

Yeah. Patti was asking my wife.

Patti was asking Siri something or less
at one point, and she goes, thank you.

And Siri goes, sure thing.

Oh, I mean, that was for sure thing.

It's just so cool, Yeah.

But then, like, my very wise check

was Turk answering

and he will say, you do know
she's listening to everything you say.

Just compiling data on you.

Oh, that's what they say with Alexa.

They say that with TikTok, a lot of people
that were being spied upon. But.

Right.

I got nothing to hide.

I don't think. Anyway.

Okay, maybe I do. Let's circle.

We could edit that. Stephanie. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. But. All right.

So, you know,
John and I were talking about

before, mindsets, everything and

mindset.

So people say, how do you do this?

Or how do you stay a positive? John,

how are you?

How do you handle at home?

I'm not at home.

And it's I can't stop to think about it.

I just have my mindset
that this is what I do.

This is my life right now and this is what
I need to do without complaining.

Every day.

You're like the horses
in the Kentucky Derby.

They have the blinders on, right?

That keeps them going straight.

Oh, what a great analogy.

Yeah I do that's a
that's kind of a big word like that.

Thank you.

Yeah that's a weak one.

But it's still
well we'll put it in that category okay.

Yeah. It makes you feel good.

I don't want to impugn you.

You're getting off track now.

Can I have some more?

Yeah. Sweet coffee. Yeah.

You know what it is?

Everything you know is a mindset.

I could.

I think I can complain every day about
every day is that I do complain about it.

And I've always just said, okay, enough.

All right. But,

But I don't dwell on it.

I don't let it overtake because

selfish and protective of my mind
and my body to do that.

That's a good, selfish
and good protective,

just like you're protective of,
you know, those you take care of.

Yes. Their well-being.

Yeah.

There's, a new medical procedure
that I have to do every night.

And it's like, sometimes I actually

almost falling asleep and realizing,
oh, I didn't do it.

And until he's used to doing this,
you know, procedure,

you know, I'm doing that,
and I'm just stop the negative

thinking about it and thinking you have
that mindset, you're focused

is going to make him feel better.

I'm going to learn how to do it himself.

And we're going to meet with the doctor
about blah, blah, blah.

So it's just like, I can switch that on
and off as every one of you can.

You can stop that negative,
you know, banter in your mind.

You don't like the banter going
on. Change the channel.

Yeah, change the channel in your mind.

You don't like a certain TV show?
Change the channel.

Right? Right.
You're doing the same thing with that.

With that, the negative thoughts come in.

You can easily alleviate them and just,

you know, change the channel,
replace it with a positive thought.

Right. What's good today.

And you know what?

It takes an average of 21 days

to really change any bad habits.

And yeah.

And tell us about that choice.
Because, you know,

some people say 21 days,
some people say 30 to change a habit.

What would they like?

Give it a good 21 days. Yeah. Okay.

In my private practice,
I would tell people,

you know, from the time you join
your sold,

you put let's say you put your right

foot into your right shoe every morning

because
we're not really conscious of that,

but we mostly do the same
for every day, I say.

But for the next 21 days,
I want you to be very, very aware,

and I want you to pause
and put your left foot in the left shoe,

but on your calendar

on the 21st day, go back
just putting your right foot in.

And every single person

came back and said, you know what?

My left foot was looking for that.

Yeah.

First day I couldn't even remember that

I put my right foot into that shoe.

So that's how quick your mind will accept.

It's something new.

So whether it's you're trying to give up

smoking or or,
you know, whatever it is you have,

you gave up smoking in one night
or one day, didn't you?

Oh, no.

You really started eating healthy
and really all in the same night.

Wow. Yeah,
that's an episode sometime down the line.

But that's mindset we got.

I mean, we could
we could touch on that now a little bit.

Yeah I like that. Yeah.
Let's do that okay.

That's really interesting
I can't I can you can, you can.

Yes yes.

So I want to my doctor's
I, since I was nine

months old, I, I was, not diagnosed.

I was hospitalized with pneumonia.

So my lungs have always been an issue.

And then I became asthmatic, and I had,
you know, bronchitis all the time.

Money,

all that stuff.

And then I was fit enough to smoke.

Probably starting as a teen.

And then one day,

when I was older,
I went to the doctor and he said,

you know, Joyce, if you keep this up,

you're going to have a very short life.

And that puts a fear in you.

I was I was drinking a lot
that this was like the 80s

when everybody was not. You.

Happy hours.

And, you know, they were happy.

They. Yes.

I was always going out where people
were ordering drinks and eating a lot.

And those happy hour ends are really not.

So, you know, those calories add up
and those who oh, man, I was,

I was overweight
and I was drinking and I was smoking.

And when I left this office

I went to at the time was cow doors.

Cow doors. I used to love shopping there.

Yeah.

And, bought myself an exercise bike.

Just a small little exercise bike.

And then exercising,

especially during that time of walking.

And I took all the cigarets in my house.

I threw it in the trash.

I took every bottle of wine

and brandy that we had in the house,

and I poured it over, almost like,

it was a ritual.

I was doing, and I poured it

over the cigarets and I said,

oh, I am done with you.

And then the thought came, oh,

I have a party at my apartment.

Oh, no.

And I just got rid of all this brandy.

How am I going to pull this off?

And I said to myself, well,
you figure it out.

So when the party happened
and it was a pizza party

and I did have wine,
I did buy some wine for the people.

But what I did was I poured myself some
sparkling water and a nice wine goblet.

And I put a piece of lemon
over the glass. Yes.

And then I took off,

probably
the opposite of what you would do.

I took off all the cheese off the pizza

and I took the salad that I had,
and I put salad on top of it

and I rolled it
sort of like a taco, and I ate that.

And when people said to me, or smoker's

choice, you want you want to step outside,
have a cigaret with me.

I didn't say, oh, I gave up smoking.

It's so hard.

I said,

I don't feel like having one right now.

And the moment I did that, I realized

I was teaching my brain.

I wasn't saying it was hard

and no one asked if I was drinking or not
because they assumed that I was one.

Nobody noticed what I was eating.

People aren't really staring at me, right?

And then when I would go out with others
for food dinners, for lunch or whatever,

people would say

something like, do you want to,
what do we want for dessert?

I said, I don't really feel
like having dessert right now.

I just have a cup of coffee.

Well, I have a cigaret.

Out.

You want one?

I just don't feel like having one
right now.

Great answer.

And John, it was as easy as that right.

In fact the only time I'll,
I'll admit to this

that I took a sip of liquor

was I was on a plane ride
that was going really bad, you know,

and you need to be somewhat sedated,
or at least mildly.

It was like I was something horrible.

Oh, well, yeah.

Who could who can blame you?

And vodka and and he was really reassure.

So on many flights don't worry about this.

And people were calling
and I'm like you're on a roller coaster.

All right what is going on?

And so I took a swig of the vodka.

But when we landed,
he said he put his hand to the front seat

and he just put his hand down
on the front seat.

And he said, Now I'm going to tell you,
this was the,

wow. We're going to,
going to kiss the ground.

Sure. You know,
so that's the only time that I thought.

Oh. Oh, well, if I'm going to die,
then I might as well take.

Right. Sure, sure. That was it.

And then I wondered.
But that was reassuring him

to say that he was just trying
to calm your your fears.

And I think it helped him. Yeah, right.

Act calm
in front of me. But my nails were,

You probably still has nail prints
to this day locked in.

Right?

But that's what really taught me,

you know, that was something that was 85

that I know was special.

And I can do this any good.

Do this.

You can.

People go cold turkey all the time

and did not have clinics and, and,
you know,

help for people who wanted to quit smoking

and so that's all these thoughts
started coming into my head

that you're talking about smoking now
in general.

No, the patch company

is owned
by the same people who sell the cigarets.

Yeah, yeah, it's
that kind of incestuous or what?

Yeah.

So I, I did not want to put a patch on me.

Yeah. Things like that.

I just told myself every day
that I no longer like the taste of it.

And what it was was a form of self
hypnosis

that led to
and for me to become a certified

hypnotherapist. And,

the rest is history from that.

But I do remember
when I was going to college

and, my doctor recommended cause
I was always an overachiever

because initially, all through school,
I was an underachieving high with friends.

But will you be my friend?

Yeah.

And in college, like,
I really wanted to succeed.

I really wanted to be a therapist,
and I would get dizzy.

I wasn't even properly.
I was studying all night.

I had two little kids at home
and it was a lot.

It was a lot.

He said to me, I very conservative doctor,
doctor Stanley Roth

said, you need to see a doctor.

It was like this.

So and so up the street from the hospital.

And he is also a therapist.

And he said,
I don't think you need medication.

I think you need to
I don't think he used the word mindset,

but he said,
you need to learn how to relax.

So I went to see that was sage
advice as you look back.

He was I really loved,

they thought that it

was a big part of my life
since I was 19 years

old. And,

so when I went to see him,
I wasn't sure I was,

you know, afraid in a way
I couldn't he this

and he just he he asked me

like,
what's the most anxious part of your day?

And so I told him
and then he said, well, just relax.

And I just relax and close your eyes.

And he had to go through the scenario of,
okay, you were here.

And as soon as you walked in here,

you suddenly feel yourself relaxed.

Like you really enjoyed this.

And that was it.

And I left.

And then the next day when I went to

that area in school.

I didn't realize it at first,
but I was really relaxed.

I thought, oh, this is feels good.

This is so, it's like,

I remember him saying this,

so your mind will accept,

you know, basically whatever you tell it

in a sense, in a sense of what you want.

Right?

So the one thing that people have
a misconception about hypnotherapy

is that you're going to quack like a dog.

You know, some.

People know what they're doing.

They really do.

You're doing it.

It's part of the act and and all of that.

What if you if you didn't want to do it?

No hypnotherapist can force him to do it.

It's what your mind wants, right?

So those people feel like they want to be.

So you have to be receptive, open to it.

Yes. So when most people visit
a real hypnotherapist,

they're coming for serious issues.

So they want to change.

And so you're my job

then is to find out what they want

and then help them
remember that the first time

anyone ever smoked a cigaret,
you either smoke, smoke you

you smoke it, you either add your coffee,
you get lightheaded.

Some people even feel numbness.

But what happens is

you begin saying to yourself,

but I love smoking.

I want to smoke.

I feel good when it calms me down.

After a tough day at work, I got to have
that cigaret with that glass.

So you know, whatever.

So you become the hypnotist?

Your brain sure is what you want.

And your brain does whatever you tell it.

You know, like one of my favorite
therapists told me

she was going to write a book
one day called My Stupid Friend.

And it is because the brain will keep

if whatever you keep saying
have to absorb it.

So having that in the back of my mind
when I did that with the cigarets in the

and yeah,

so within a pretty short period of time

I lost about 40 pounds,
which I have never.

Right. Yeah.

You're still leaning
mean well, in a nice way.

Yeah. I'm feeling I.

Yeah.

But so that just shows me the power
of the mind, you know neuroplasticity.

Is that right?

Yeah. The brain.

Yeah I know, I know.

Are you impressed with that?

My wife is just going.

Oh, she's rolling her eyes now.

There she goes again. Yeah.

So that's I think that's, that's

the message for today
even talk about this. No.

But that's so important that you were able
to do that all in one day.

Those three components in one day.

And I just carry
some like some events with me.

Like I need did you need it.

No no no I,

I just remember it being really easy.

And I emphasized to myself, how could I?

Yes, I was saving money

and I felt better in general.

But I never told anyone.

I just did it.

In fact, one of the people
in our little gang, I saw him

like almost two years

ago and he was in the hospital
and very bad shape.

He has since passed
and he's even a little younger than me.

And because he never stopped
doing it to me, a lot of things.

But he said, I don't know.

He said, you know, I was with you then.

I don't remember that
you quit smoking or you quit drinking.

I said, yeah, I did, right.

It was January 1985,
and he's like, he's dead.

So yeah, I just never talked about it.

Got 40 years ago.

You were
you were smoking when you were a seven.

Jeez.

I did start from I think it's about 12.

Really?

Because the girlfriend
I had was three years older than, want

to hang around with the older girls
and kind of be hip fit in with that.

Yeah.

And then she only one day she gave
me, like, a I need a glass of water.

And this is something
you should never do to anyone.

It was pure vodka.

Oh, we just came in from outside, right?

Yeah.

And it,

it that that's a cruel joke.

Very cruel.

Especially with a super hot day
when you're dehydrated anyway.

And liquor dehydrate you.

She was one of those really good Saint
Mary's girl.

Oh, really?

She's doing that?

That's right.

Yeah, yeah.

But, but I'm just saying that your
your mind is way more powerful,

you realize.

And it's not a lot of hard work
when you don't keep telling

everyone it's hard work.

So just say it's easy to do.

And now so are the aphorisms that you have
right there on that gift you've gotten.

You know you're strong, you're brave,
you're capable, you're worthy,

you're beautiful,
you're amazing, your loved.

I mean,
those things are not arrogance of you.

I can't say that to myself.

That's egotistical and arrogant.

No, it's not.

Oh, it's not I mean, it's not like you're
doing it in a whole room full of people.

I mean, when you're waking up
in the morning, you look in the mirror

and you just, you know, too many times
we all look at the flaws.

What do you like about yourself?
What's good about you?

The word beautiful can mean
a lot of different things.

I just externally.

Yeah, it could be that,
you know, life is beautiful.

Now I'm a creation.

I'm here for a reason, right?

I mean, God
created this magnificent machine.

You know, he really did.

Yeah, he did create that, he did, he did.

You kept it.

Well, yeah, we do.

We do make those choices.

But like you, I mean, you're a fitness,
fanatic in a sense,

and that's the opposite. And so am I.

I mean, I consider myself a fitness,
and that's a maybe a strong word, but.

Yeah, fanatical about that. Yeah.

I just make sure I do it every day
during the car accident.

And you want my back.

Hasn't been easy, but I make sure
that you don't use it as an excuse.

I see so many people come into the gym
and they have the even older people.

I mean, they have oxygen, you know,
they have bags.

They're they're bringing in.

They have, you know, a, a walker
and they still find a way to get there.

And they I admire them.

So I said, what's my excuse
if they're able to get here?

So, you know, it's looking it's mindset.

It's mindset. We are what we think.

So thank you so much

again for tuning in, watching listening
wherever you may be.

And please share this podcast
with your friend,

your colleague, your family, your enemies,
whoever you think needs this.

You know what's good with Johnny Joyce?

Available for free on YouTube
and all the major platforms,

and we appreciate you so much and we hope
that your mindset keeps getting better.

Remember,
you're so much better than you think.

You could do so much more than you think

you're worthy of it all. Yes.

Thank you.

Let's
go to China. Joyce. Till next time. Bye.

Episode Video

Creators and Guests

John Saville
Host
John Saville
Shortly after John graduated from Southern Connecticut State University, he landed his first job in radio. The Program Director gave him some of the best advice he has ever received. He said, “the Broadcasting business is very fickle, you can be here today and gone tomorrow; so you should have a Plan B.” John listened and the next day he dipped into his savings and bought his first sound system. Within two weeks, he was DJing his first party. That was over 25 years ago!
Joyce Logan
Host
Joyce Logan
Joyce holds a Doctorate in Metaphysical Philosophy from the American Institute of Holistic Theology and certification as a Hypnotherapist from The National Guild of Hypnotists in NH. She founded “The Wellness Center” in Connecticut, where she dedicated many years to assisting individuals with anxiety disorders and panic attacks, equipping countless others with effective coping mechanisms for everyday stressors.
David Chmielewski
Producer
David Chmielewski
David started his video career in the early 1990s working on video crews as an independent contractor for such companies as Martha Stewart Living, IBM and Xerox. After graduating Southern Connecticut State University with the degree in Corporate Communications, David continued his video production career and accepted a position at WFSB in Hartford, CT. Within a few years the news and production studios became his charge and David designed, installed and maintained the televisions sets for the various programs at the station. At the end of 2013 David founded DirectLine Media, a video production company that specializes in creating memorable and compelling video content for businesses.
Stefania Sassano
Editor
Stefania Sassano
Stefania's acting journey began as early as the fourth grade, where she took on the role of Scarlett O'Hara in a stage production of Gone With the Wind. This early experience sparked a lifelong passion for the arts. With a background in musical theater fueled by her love of music and singing, Stefania stepped into larger roles, such as Fraulein Kost in Cabaret during her sophomore year at the University of New Haven. This performance earned her a nomination for the prestigious Irene Ryan Acting Award at the Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival—an honor she would receive again in her junior year.